I Got Told...

Yup, my horse taught me a giant lesson today, and I totally deserved it. But I'll tell it in order! So:

I brought her in to a stall so I could fuss on her, as per usual. I'd gone over her coat with the HHC when there were gunshots being fired somewhere nearby. This freaked her out, because she was trapped in a stall and felt like she couldn't go anywhere if things went south. I have to say, though, she was always very polite of my space and where I was while she was being all snorty and turning around. I tried to get her attention but it wasn't working well at calming her down, so I hooked up her lead and took her outside the stall and ran along with her to encourage a trot. After she trotted a bit and I worked on leading manners, she came back to me and was totally fine. There were even more gunshots, and her ears airplaned, but she was totally fine - her head barely even came up.

So I bring her back to her stall and decide to ride today, because, well, why not? She's been doing really well about steering, and her hock looks to be completely better (it's cold and tight), so I may as well start training her undersaddle. So I tack her up, and she's a good girl... except, she got a little girthy, testing me I think, and I smacked her lightly on her shoulder. She cut it out immediately, and didn't make any more faces for the rest of the tacking up process, lol! I felt bad, though, because she rolled her eyes at me and backed up like 5 steps. I really didn't hit her hard at all! I think someone probably abused her earlier in life, 'cause she's really sensitive about that kind of stuff... so I try to be very reassuring and careful. But, I mean, nipping the air, even when it's not nipping me... that's just unacceptable! Sorry girlie! So after that, I take her out, hop up, and she stands fine and everything. Things are going well!

Then I walk her out away from the barn and her paddock.. she doesn't like this. She sees a few things she's nervous about and snoooooooooorts at them! She starts stopping of her own accord, trying to steer us instead of listening to me (well, she listens, but I can feel her resistance and she goes back to going where she wants to go shortly after she turns her nose to me - and when I mean shortly, I mean, as soon as I give).

I, being an idiot, think it'd be a great idea to just encourage her through it, because hey... she's broke to ride, right? So I squeeze, she gets startled and more confused... I turn her in circles when she doesn't soften to me, and she continues bracing against me. It gets worse. She gets more scared, and frustrated. She starts going forwards, backwards, stopping, turning... anything. She doesn't know what I want, so she tries everything. She tucks her chin in and hops a little because she can't figure it out. Me, I thought she was being bad, but upon further reflection, no... she was confused.

I've said before that she doesn't know as much as she should - like no one ever taught her properly what cues mean. I'm almost certain I'm right now. She doesn't want to be bad, as she proved to me later. So, mistakenly, I get meaner, instead of being understanding. She got more frantic. It was bad. Finally, I let her walk off in a direction she wanted to go, just to stop the fighting - I hate fighting, I didn't want to hang on her bitless bridle and make her not like it, etc.

So we're walking, and I'm like, self, why are you doing this? You know she responds well to clicker training. Look at her. She's confused. She's going back to what she knows, but she's listened to you this whole time - she steered, stopped, backed, etc., whenever you asked, you just didn't like the way she was doing it! And then she got scared, and things just went downhill from there. So I was like, okay... here we go. And I waited for a moment of relaxation and softness in her, and... click!

She stopped dead. It took me a few times to convince her to take her treat, but she finally did, and it was like a lightswitch went off. I could FEEL her relax. I asked her to walk forward again with a little squeeze of encouragement, and she obliged - click! I give her the treat and this time, she remembers our routine, takes it, and relaxes even more. Her neck stretched out, ears pricked forward lazily. She softened to my contact, stopped with barely any asking, went in whichever direction I wanted with little fuss. I just kept clicking when she did something I liked, and she just kept doing things I liked! It was literally NIGHT and DAY. I could not BELIEVE the difference a few clicks made.

So we're in the far, scary end of the paddock, and in 3 minutes, she's not even looking at anything anymore because I clicked and treated her to confidence. She's strutting around, listening, steering, responding to very light leg commands and light rein commands. She still doesn't really like turning away from the gate, but really, what horse does? And her resistance was asking if she could go that way for half a second more than when we were headed toward the gate.

So, thank you, Reina. You are going to be the horse that teaches me to be patient, forgiving, kind, and understanding. But most of all, you're going to make me listen to you! It was a lesson I really needed, to break me of my habit of meeting resistance with resistance. There's always a reason for resistance, and if you listen, you'll figure out a peaceful way to resolve it.

She was SO amazing once I started using the clicker again. I'm an idiot for thinking it'd be easier to ride without it! And the saddest part is, I think that's what she was saying, when she got nervous and confused. But she never bucked, reared, took off, or was dangerous. She hopped, and tossed her head, and gave me all sorts of responses - left, right, forward, back - but she was never mean or dangerous. I really think she just didn't understand and, once I clicked, suddenly she did.

My poor mare! But I learned, sweetie, and I promise I'll try to be better!

So... yes. Sorry for the lack of pictures; I was busy learning a life lesson in patience and listening from my Rei. I got a few after I put her away, though, in her (not so snazzy) new cribbing collar:

Okay. So it's not that bad... right? At least she still looks cute!

AND I even remembered to get pictures of her roommate so you guys could see her! Did I mention she's like 18? Nick rescued her... I think she looks pretty darn good for 18!

This is so cute of them! They're both posing!

Guess which one's boss mare? That's right, my baby! I'm so proud of her, leading her herd of one! You can tell 'cause she's eating and she's not letting poor Comanche eat. After about 20 minutes of munching, she finally lets the poor senior mare have the edge of the bale, because, as we all know from Spoon's blog on round bales, the hole in the center is where the prime hay is, and Reina'd pin her ears to warn Comanche off of her hay bale hole(s) whenever Comanche wanted in on the pickin's. Proof of this:

Boss Mare enjoying the hay in the delicious hole.

"...can I have some hay now, to--" "No."

Cribbing collar model. Ooh, so chic!

Silly Comanche trying to sneak a bite off the side!

Reina not allowing the sneaked bite.

Okay! Well, those are the pictures. Isn't Comanche pretty? I mean, not nearly as fabulously gorgeous or sweet as Reina, of course, but still, she's quite pretty!

So I leave everyone with this advice: listen to your horse! My horses have always been the best teachers when it comes to how to treat them and what to do, but honestly, I've never had the difference so clearly illustrated to me before. I'm still a little bit in shock and awe at how she could so plainly say "This is how I learn best, so please be patient with me and tell me when I'm right." How can I say no to such a reasonable request?

I'm sorry, Rei. Thank you for being patient with me, and I promise I'll learn to listen harder.